(Dis)like

I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook. I love reading witty and funny status updates. I love hearing good news like engagements, weddings and babies. I love to see where people are traveling to (and being incredibly jealous). I love watching home and shared YouTube videos. I love that during disasters people can send a quick update to let their friends and family know they are ok. I love knowing what my friends are up to. I love reconnecting with old friends. And yes, just like you, I love cyber stalking ex-boyfriends.

There are a lot of things that I hate and they mostly come from “facebook friends.” You know, the ones you aren’t really close to and don’t really care about: high school friends, old and current co-workers, extended family and in-laws. I’m finding that a lot of my “facebook friends” are annoying the crap out of me lately for these reasons.

Overconfidence. I have a “friend” who constantly talks about how hot she is and how she gets hit on all day, every day. She says that even when she's “out for a jog, all sweaty and gross” guys are always trying to pick her up. The thing is, she’s really not that cute. Plus, she claims to be happily married. Something is fishy…

Under confidence. I have other “friends” who are always fishing for compliments about their appearance. Their status updates repeatedly say, “I’m so ugly” or “Having a fat day.” They just want to see all of the “Oh, no, you look great” or “Girl, I wish I was as skinny as you.” comments. And these girls are usually the ones that have sexy self-portraits or mirror shots of themselves as their profile picture, so they obviously don't think they look too bad.

Promoting their business. Some “friends” of mine have been using facebook to shove Scentsy/Tupperware/Pure Romance/Mary Kay/Shelf Reliance/PartyLite down my throat. And I say shove because it’s every.single.day. Some of them post up to five times a day. If I want some of your goods, I’ll contact you. Keep all that crap out of my news feed.

What they eat. A few “friends” tell the facebook world what they are eating for dinner every night. I even have one who tells me every meal, including when she’s just having a cup of coffee. What a boring life if all you have to share with people is “Just had a cup of coffee and going for a second one.” If you are making something wonderful and want to share the recipe, I’m all for it, but telling me that “it’s a mac and cheese kind of night” is not status worthy.

What they are doing every minute. Another “friend” of mine feels the need to update her status with every errand she runs. “I’m at the bank, then I’m gonna hit the grocery store.” A few hours later, “The store was packed, time to watch Jersey Shore.” Then, “Speaking of GTL, I need to get laundry going.” Followed by, “I hate folding whites.” Soon after, it’s “I gotta get dinner going, but better walk to the mailbox first.” Etc, etc, etc… I DON’T CARE!

Negativity. Some “friends” constantly talk about how crappy their lives are, how much they hate their job, how mean their boyfriend is and how they can’t stand the weather. I understand venting about a bad day or asking for advice about a crazy toddler (guilty!), but when it’s the same issue every day, just get over it. Or at least get off facebook and go fix your problems. You’ll get no sympathy from me.

And don't even get me started on the apps! I think it’s time for me to do some housekeeping.

You can find me on facebook here and I promise that if we become friends, I won’t do any of the above! But beware; I’m kind of a “like” whore.

P.S. I'm kind of obsessed with watching a real life extramarital affair unfold before my eyes all on Facebook. It's so much more entertaining than a soap opera. I know, I know, I'm terrible. But they aren't discreet, so it's not my fault!