Music Monday - In My Life

My high school boyfriend was obsessed with The Beatles. When we started dating, I hadn’t heard much of their music. My dad HATES them, I still don’t know why. I knew the typical, popular Beatles songs. The ones that were so common you actually didn’t even know who sang them because they had been turned into jingles or covers, and you knew all the words. But with each album he showed me (and there are a lot), I got more into them and he’d be proud to know how much I still really love them today. Check out Nolan's shirts.

I’ve been thinking about him a lot lately. Not in an “I want you back” or “what could have been” way. I’ve just been thinking about the impact he left on me as a first love. All of my memories of high school involve him. I miss him. I wonder what he’s up to. If he’s happy. If he has a family. We live in the same small(ish) town, but I haven’t heard about him in about five years. My husband works with him but the place is so big, they never cross paths. My brother used to play golf with him, but hasn’t done it in a long time. I admit I even googled him, but came up with nothing. And really, who isn’t on facebook??? I'd love to get lunch and catch up, but I don't want to be that creepy ex girlfriend either.

We were together junior and senior years in high school and couldn’t have been more different. But we were so in love and planned to go to college, travel, get married and have babies. You know, what every teenage girl dreams about. And I have to say, he was the one with all the grand plans, not me. About two weeks before senior prom, he broke up with me. We had been arguing a lot about stuff he was doing that really hurt me and affected us, and he just couldn’t take it. He was tired of answering to a girlfriend. He wanted freedom. He didn't treat me very well after the break up. He talked a lot of crap about me to his friends and new girlfriend, one of my friends. I had already moved on and was dating one of this friends. (I know, I know, but like I said, small town). It still really hurt. A lot. It was one thing to be heart broken by the end of our relationship, but it was a totally different kind of pain to be betrayed by someone I loved and trusted for so long. And I never said one bad thing about him. I still don't.

Two years later we hung out and he told me he was scared, that we were rushing into a life together so young. Little did he know, I was also terrified and was never the one in a rush. He also apologized about being a jerk after the break up, blaming his "crazy" girlfriend for needing constant reassurance that he wasn't still in love with me. But it didn't matter anymore, I wasn't mad. Here is the weird twist to the story…he convinced my husband, Jacob, to ask me out because he didn’t like the guy I was dating at the time. Jacob and I dated off and on for a few years before finally becoming “official” then getting married and having the love of my life, Nolan. I suppose I need to thank him for that!

Anyway, here’s one of my favorite Beatles songs. It seems to fit my mood just perfectly.

The Beatles - In My Life

Though I know I'll never lose affection

For people and things that went before

I know I'll often stop and think about them

In my life, I'll love you more