I was on the fence about her for so long. I liked her first few movies. I liked that she’s curvy and not an average waify actress. And I liked her voice, until she started singing. She’s terrible. She’s overrated. She’s pretentious. She just plain can’t act. Her frozen, dopey face annoys the crap out of me. I can’t believe she is Mrs. Ryan Reynolds. I expected more from him.
2. Coffee
I’ve never been into it. I drank a few Maxwell House Suisse Mochas in high school on cold mornings, but we all know that isn’t coffee. It was just powder added to hot milk or water, basically like a hot chocolate. I never liked the taste and never felt the need to acquire one. I’m so glad I didn’t. I have absolutely no need for caffeine. And it may be hard to believe, but I am a morning person!
3. U2
I know they are like the best selling band of all time, but I’m just not into them. I like three songs: Hold Me Thrill Me Kiss Me Kill Me, I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For and With Or Without You. The rest is annoying. I know Bono does a ton of work for charity, so I like him for that. I just don't like his personality much.
4. The Bachelor/Bachelorette shows
I watched one season, the one with Andrew Firestone. I don’t even know why. It was horrible and fake and the girls drove me nuts. I just can’t get into it. I’m way too practical and realistic to believe true love happens in a few weeks on a dating show when the guy is making out (and sometimes more) with a bunch of desperate fame whores. No thanks, that is not entertainment to me.
5. Wine
When I first started drinking at high school parties Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill and Fuzzy Navel were my go to drinks for a year or two. That’s wine, right? After that I graduated to Zima, Mike’s Hard Lemonade and sometimes drank 22 oz Mickeys with my ghetto guy friends. Ew. Once one of us was old enough, we started getting tequila and rum. I loved tequila but had one really bad night with it when I was twenty and swore it off. I hated rum and quickly found out that vodka was my favorite. To this day it still is. Most of my friends are in their late twenties and early thirties and have all graduated to wine. I just can’t get into it. I like a few pink wines and I love champagne, but red and white make me sick! So while they are being all sophisticated getting hammered off wine, I’m totally fine with my delicious vodka cocktails. We make it work.
6. Skanks
I’m so over any sort of media outlet covering martial affairs. It’s not news. Men cheat. Women cheat. People get divorced. It’s life. I hated every single piece of “news” that came out about Tiger Woods. From the crazy first night of violence (well, ok, that was kind of fun), to his stupid apologizing press conference, to all the information about the many, many sluts. Who cares!?! Then the same thing happened with Sandra Bullock. I feel for the girl, I really do. I love her. But why did we have to give so much attention to Jesse James’s racist slut? Remember Ashley Dupre? Governor Spitzer’s whore? Yes, a real whore. She is an advice columnist for the New York Post. It’s rumored that Jesse’s girl, tattoo model Bombshell McGee makes between $10,000 and $30,000 a photo shoot now. And Rachel Uchitel, who bed both Tiger and David Boreanaz, is now claiming she has a pill problem and will be appearing on Celebrity Rehab this season. Why are these girls rewarded? Why are we paying any attention to them? Let’s just tell our daughters, “Screw college! Work at Hooters until you find a famous guy to sleep with then make bank off of ruining people’s lives.”
(By the way, I hate the cheating, lying, disgusting men even more, but for some reason they aren’t the ones everyone wants to hear about).
7. Twitter
I have to admit, when Twitter first showed up, I was kind of into it. I had an account and I tweeted my whereabouts and started following my favorite celebs. But I got over it after about a month. It was just too much information, way too often. I found myself quickly deleting one person after another. Then I realized that I could “like” or “friend” some celebrities on facebook and get their twitter feed and that was enough for me. I hope this stupid craze dies out soon.
8. Dancing shows
There’s nothing wrong with these shows. I’ve watched SYTYCD a few times because my sister is obsessed and it’s not bad, just not something I really get into. Which is strange considering how much I love Broadway. The dancing is really impressive and the costumes are great, but I just don’t love the shows.
9. Brangelina
Ugh. I can’t stand them. I think they are both talented actors. Brad Pitt is adorable. Angelina is kinda strange looking to me. But I love the work she does helping the world. And I like that she’s adopted children in need. What I don’t love is them together. I don’t like how their relationship started (Team Jennifer over here). I don’t like the mushy interviews they give. I don’t like the parade of kids. I don’t think they need that many! While I don’t think they are exactly bad parents, there is no way they can give enough attention to each of the kids AND have the careers they do. It’s impossible. I just don’t like those two.
10. Summertime
This is probably the one everyone thinks is the strangest. I really don’t like the summer. I hate being hot. I don’t like to sweat. I’m as pale as a Cullen and burn when outside for only fifteen minutes. I hate slathering up with greasy sunscreen. I hate “laying out” on a beach. I don’t like pools because the chlorine irritates my skin. I hate fish so I don’t really like the ocean. And lakes freak me out because of all the bacteria, fish, snakes, lily pads, duck mites, E. coli, etc. (What, your lakes don’t have E. coli? Well, a bunch of lakes in Seattle and surrounding cities do. Gross, right?) I don’t like to hike or camp. I don’t play sports. I hate mosquito bites. There is hardly anything good (or new) on tv. It's too hot to sleep at night. Theme parks are way too crowded to attempt a summer vacation. Humidity is disgusting, especially when I’m already greasy from the SPF 60. Summer is just my least favorite season. The end.
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