Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Anatomy of a relationship - Morisette Style


One of my favorite cds of all time is Alanis Morisette's Jagged Little Pill. It came out the summer before I started 11th grade and I'm pretty sure I listened to it on repeat for four months straight and still a ton after that. She had a lot of singles from that album! Anyway, I’ve mentioned my high school boyfriend before here and here. While listening to this cd a few weeks ago during a long car trip, I couldn’t believe how much it reminded me of him.

Head Over Feet

He told me he was in love with me way before I felt the same way. Of course, being a dumb teenage girl, I said it back, fully knowing that I wasn’t really there yet. I remember waking up one morning, listening to this song while getting ready for school and totally “getting” it. He did everything this song described and I realized that morning that I was actually, completely, “head over feet” in love with him. It’s weird how it creeps up on you, isn’t it? I went to school, found him before homeroom and told him I loved him. He said “I love you, too” so nonchalantly, but he didn’t understand! It didn’t matter, I did. And he continued to treat me this well for a long, long time.

You are the bearer of unconditional things
You held your breath and the door for me
Thanks for your patience

You're the best listener that I've ever met
You're my best friend, best friend with benefits
What took me so long

I've never felt this healthy before
I've never wanted something rational
I am aware now

You've already won me over in spite of me
And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn't help it, it's all your fault




Not The Doctor

He treated me so well that after a while, I often felt smothered. We were each other’s first real relationship. He wanted to spend every minute with me, but I was used to being independent and I liked it. I remember having conversations about this with him and he just didn’t understand where I was coming from. He didn’t know why we’d spend time apart if we loved spending time together. Can a girl take a breather now and then?

I don't want to be the filler if the void is solely yours
I don't want to be your glass of single malt whiskey hidden in the bottom drawer
I don't want to be a bandage if the wound is not mine
Lend me some fresh air

I don't want to be adored for what I merely represent to you
I don't want to be your babysitter, you're a very big boy now
I don't want to be your mother I didn't carry you in my womb for nine months
Show me the back door

I don't want to be the glue that holds your pieces together
I don't want to be your idol, see this pedestal is high and I'm afraid of heights
I don't want to be lived through a vicarious occasion
Please open the window



You Oughta Know

Yes, I know, every girl loved this as her break song. I remember screaming it at the top of my lungs with my friends when any of us were hurt or pissed because of a stupid boy. It was our anthem, my generation’s version of Kelly Clarkson’s “Since You’ve Been Gone.” We broke up two weeks before senior prom and he immediately asked someone else. Everyone knows that prom dates are booked months in advance! And I didn’t try to go with anyone else because I just knew we were going to get back together. Funny thing is, his prom date was a junior and she just used him to go to the dance. She ended up having sex with someone else that night at an after party he took her to! Ha ha.

You seem very well, things look peaceful
I'm not quite as well, I thought you should know
Did you forget about me, Mr. Duplicity
I hate to bug you in the middle of dinner
It was a slap in the face how quickly I was replaced
Are you thinking of me when you fuck her?


Did you hear Britney cover this song on her last tour. Unfortunately, she didn't sing it when she was in Seattle, but here she is in Chicago. Not bad, Brit!



You Learn

We got back together twice the summer after graduation, but it didn't work out. The first time I wanted more than he was willing to give. The second time, he heard I was moving on with a new guy, and tried to get me back. I entertained that idea for a while, but soon after decided I was done and really wanted to move on. It took a while to get over him. In fact, for almost a year into my relationship with the new guy, who I was in love with, I don’t think I was really over it.

I recommend getting your heart trampled on to anyone
I recommend walking around naked in your living room
Swallow it down (like a jagged little pill)
It feels so good (swimming in your stomach)
Wait until the dust settles

You live you learn, you love you learn, you cry you learn
You lose you learn, you bleed you learn, you scream you learn



You never forget your first love.

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