Monday, June 14, 2010

4 words make cardinal directions

she wrote stories about me last year
in a notebook that didn't leave her clutch
as if it was the last thing on the earth to hang on to
she asked me if i believed in god and post-apocalyptic torment

i said "i don't know. i'm scared. if volcanic ash covered the earth we would resort to cannibalism"
she is so beautiful in that moment.
like family videos that make you smile and cry
because you know the you that's in that video clip is so far removed from what you are now
that you will never be that girl again. not even if you tried.
but you see for just a second that girl in her
and you know that's why you came over there to begin with

wearing a coy smile she looked down at her wine
and tried to strum up conversation
i felt bad because secretly all i was hoping is that she would figure out that i didn't say anything because i was waiting for her to ask me something
she told me about her boyfriend and said he was smart and she was in love

i smiled to myself when i took the last sip of beer of the night
eating triskits in my bed alone
it was so pathetic but i had to think,
"i am drunk when i'm writing this, and when i sober up, i won't care."

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