Weekend Reflection: SIDS

A baby lost is like reflections in the mirror, yes, you had him/her. Then he/she is gone.

My son has a beautiful head.

http://annkitsuetchin.blogspot.co.nz/2012/02/thinking-of-you-megan.html

My poem for Megan today.
It is Christopher's 26 birthday.
Megan's heart is far from celebrating and cooking a storm,
Christopher won't be surfing,
Christopher won't be windsurfing.
Megan and Christopher never walked on a beach as mum and son.
Megan wants no expensive flowers.
Because a horrible thing called SIDS took Christopher away.

Sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) is the unexpected, sudden death of a child under age 1 in which an autopsy does not show an explainable cause of death. Symptoms: Almost all SIDS deaths occur without any warning or symptom.

My friend Megan issued an online invitation to everyone to remember her son Christopher.

SIDS is such a horrible thing, one moment your child is here, another moment, he is gone, there is no chance to say good bye. SIDS became real to me when this couple who worked with me came and asked for time of. Their grand son had died. Their daughter had taken him for a usual baby check up, then went to a cafe for a coffee. She came home and left him to sleep on her bed. The next thing when she checked, he had died. Some cruel people pointed fingers at her that she should have gone straight home from the doctor to give the baby a rest instead of gallivanting and going for that cup of coffee.

Then I met Megan, she lost 2 and she told me how cautious after losing the first one. She had apnea monitors and she never left her babies out of sight. Imagine how stressful it was.

Just this week, I met another mum, with a more cruel story.

Babying Fashion change. When I had my oldest 27 years ago in a White man's country, they told me not to sleep my baby on her back. That will cause her to choke when she vomitted. Besides, she would get the "Asian" head that had plagued my life. My hair dressers always teased me, it was impossible to style my hair.

My husband wasn't keen on the idea of our babies sleeping on the stomach, so he devised pillows and supported them on the front and back. They slept on their sides. My kids have beautifully rounded head.

I came back in 2006 to New Zealand, I see the babies now have "Asian" heads. Flat like a wash board just like me. Mums told me that the current doctors' advice is infants younger than 1 year old should be placed on their backs to sleep — never face-down on their stomachs.

I do not want to give any answers. But I do know one thing, when you lost a baby, it is going to hurt, and hurt it will for a mighty long time. Because I lost one, though not to SIDS, but to Campomelic displiasia.





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